Pregscuses

2015-05-15T23:05:22+00:00May 15th, 2015|Categories: Fertility Blog|Tags: , , , , |

By Jennifer Pitkin, IBCLC, RLC
Lactation Consultant at http://www.jenlc.com/ and http://www.latchmd.com/ (iPhone or Android)

I’m a mom to two little ones, and have one more on the way. There are a number of things during this pregnancy that I’ve been overemotional about and/or have been starving for, and I thought I’d share some Pregscuses that I created that all pregnant women can and should get away with. There’s no time in your life quite like pregnancy. Enjoy it, and laugh at all the crazy parts that you just *get* if you’ve been there.

• The Sneezepee:
If you don’t know what this is, you’ve never had a baby on your bladder

• Pregrage:
Sudden bursts of anger directed at things that becoming extremely annoying in a millisecond
Examples:
o husband breathing too loud
o celebrities losing ALL baby weight immediately
o not having pie available at midnight

• It Alllllllmost Still Fits:

• Pregforts:
Impenetrable and intricately designed sleep concoctions designed for a pregnant mom’s sleep
o these may take up 90% of the bed
o forts aren’t just for kids
o here’s a compact version if you’d like your bed back
o see “Pregdibs”

• Pregnose:
The ability a pregnant woman has to know if you ate a food she has an aversion to…even 3 days later

• Lay Off Me, I’m Starving:
When you go from pregnancy stage, everything makes you want to puke, to pregnancy stage, you will knock that sandwich out of someone’s hand and eat it.

• Pregdesigner:
A complete fixation about the imminent need to:
o repair all the things
o redecorate
o paint
o and/or move large pieces of furniture

• Pregdibs:
The ability to claim ownership of all things
Examples:
o Your dinner
o your pajama pants
o your pillows
o the remote
o the pickle jar

• Must. Nap. NOW:

• Preghunt:
When a pregnant mother stops whatever she’s doing to buy one insatiably craved item at the grocery store
o often this results in an extra $250 in groceries
o mom may not want the item after smelling it
o if she can eat it, there’s no way she’s sharing

• Preg…what?
I don’t remember what we were talking about

I’d like to say that all things will go back to a less crazy/hormonal/sleep deprived status after new baby arrives, but I’m not going to lie. I’ve been there before. I fully recognize that I’ll have a whole other blog to write at that point. I’m going with Boobscuses. Find more articles, support, and updates from me (and other lactation professionals) on the latchME app.